Feeling Invisible

Its been awhile since i have written. I had a bad attack that sent me to bed for a week after a very low pressure system came. My head packed in ice and pain killers and muscle relaxers and my dear friends that could came over and babysit me all day taking me to the bathroom and giving me ice chips. Recovering from that attack took awhile but as aways the ringing in my ears and the pressure in my ears still there and on some days its just hard to even function. Its been hard to sleep once again I have tried a different pillow, different positions, reading , praying , even tried warm milk (which I am not fond of). I take 5 different medications that cause drowsiness one of them an actual sleeping medication. Every night I swallow downers that would take a horse down and yet every night well most nights I sit along with my tinnitus when is bad it will even wake me up from my sleep and keep me up. I am still physically in this world but feeling totally disconnected from it . The days when everyone is living their lives all I want to do is nothing , crawl back into bed and beg God for him to take this ringing out of my head. I feel invisible , exhausted and I want to do things , I need to keep doing things but deep down inside I don't have enough energy to go. I feel like I float through my day , existing here among my family and friends. I ask God . Will I Suffer for long? Will there ever be relief? Will I ever know of a normal day again ? please stop the ringing and my head hurting LORD help me find REST!!

Down and out

I knew it was going to be a hard going out to dinner I had been not feel well all day the low pressure had been sitting on me all day the ringing and spinning. But I pull myself together and go out thinking I can still do this but i don't get through dinner and it hits me like a blow to the head and everything goes dark and the torture starts . This time it was very hard and hurt so much and I even begged Ed to take me to the ER it hurt so much. The Down and outs of life with MD right now has been a challenged. A low pressure that sat right over us for a few days and it just made my head hurt and that the pressure was going to blow my head off my shoulders. This time I ended up in bed for a week with no memory of the week at all . I know that I had my wonderful friends sitting next to me helping me . But what bothers me the most is the lost time the no memory of only pain and begging God to take it away. Then I have been having an issue with my new med SERC. Its been kicking up my Asthma I don't know why and its sent me to the hospital twice. I wonder if anyone else has had the same thing while taking SERC .. Well another week and I am looking forward to this week as a blessing ..