My family is my safe haven!

If I am to be honest and going to put my feeling out here in open space for ever to read. I might as well just say this. My family is my safe haven and my source of happiness. This is also true with my closes friendship.  Ive always been the kind of person that loved to be surrounded by relatives and friends and try to keep an excellent relationship to everyone. (this always seems to back fire on me but whatever) Without a beloved person to rely upon I feel insecure.(kinda sad isn't it) but now more than ever with my MD its so very true .. However, sometimes there are delicate people in everyone's lives like mine whose moods changes frequently and these particular people prove to be unreliable and though I wish I could ask them for help but I don't.  The fear of loneliness remains much more frightening option for me at this time that I still try to rely on them again and again.  However , again and again I am hurt and disappointed by them. Deep down I know its a default somewhere in both of us.. How does one get over this ? How does one just let it go? I have never been a person to let things slide off my shoulder its a curse i tell you.   I have always worn my feelings right there on my shoulders I hated that because everyone always knows what I am feeling.. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a extremely sensitive person and I try to understand and accept anyone. I feel the most joy when those in my life feel comfortable and are at total ease being with me and accept my impulsiveness ways, my eccentric behaviors that seem to offend others all the time but I don't mean it to, and I never know why. The one thing that I know for sure that is never undisputed is with anyone who struggles with any kind of incurable chronic illness needs incredible support system.  Its very difficult to have loved ones that have  been there in my life that were immense role in my life what I thought were my strength and my rock. Over time just fade away because of not being able to handle what this disease does to someone.   I know that some will never leave my side no matter what I DO.  And above all things even with that,  I most of the time know my family no matter what happens will be in my life at least that's the hope.. Funny how when you are writing how clear things become.. Oh one more things before I go today .. Being its a great day today for once and im at least out of bed .. For me and the curse MD is at bay.. I pray every night before I lay my head down to sleep .. Lord .. will I awake afresh in the morning ? please make it your will.. or will this hell torment me a lifetime eternally through.. Today the LORD said HAVE A GOOD DAY KRISSY BLESS YOU LORD AND THANKS !!